Found graffitied in a back alley in Kirksville:
I remember sitting in the sun
Exhausted, we sang songs, told stories, and laid bricks
We wanted to be rescued
I remember spelling out our own private resistance
And leaving it as a treasure map
I remember dancing and smiling
In a world meant to break our hearts
I will reject apathy.
We will live in a world of orphans and widows. A country where fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. A world where the poor are forced to fight the rich man’s battles. A world where we’re ranked, where we’re rejected. A world that is broken. A world where we have to fight to prove our worth. A world of abuse, of famine, of pain.
We can’t hide in our churches and our bible studies. We can’t ignore what is going on around us. If we ignore the pain of those around us and if we ignore the pain within ourselves, we not only shut ourselves off to brokenness, we shut ourselves off to beauty and love.
This pain isn’t the way it is supposed to be, but ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. Apathy solves nothing. If you’re living and it hurts, at least you are living. The point is to be full. To live abundantly. To do whatever you can to fix the hells of this world.
Jesus didn’t come when things were perfect and he didn’t come and stay in the clean places. He went out in the midst of the brokeness and he let it hurt him. He felt the heartbreak of the fallen creation. And he loved. He healed. He fed. And he cried.
I will reject apathy.
I’ve never really appreciated how wonderful Lion King 1 1/2 is . Really. I used to watch this movie when I babysat Tiernan. It was funny then. And its still funny now, years later. They use the original voices, the original plot, just look at it with a new character. Brilliant. And funny. 10 minutes. 10 minutes. 10 minutes.
Seriously.
The past is set in stone. The future is in motion. There is nothing to hold onto in either.
The only time you can feasibly grasp is now.
Awaken tour starts this weekend.
Good.
I can’t close my bathroom door. The outer door, not the inner door.
The petals are falling off my lilies and now all I can see are the flower reproductive organs that Jordan pointed out last time she was over here. Flowers are so ephemeral. But so beautiful while they last.
I need to wash my sheets. And I will.
The curtain on my window is broken and only opens on one side. This creates an odd fan shape, like a shell, or the bottom of a skirt over the window. Its kind of artistic. But I suppose I should call the fix-it line.
I think expectation may be a very real part of relationships, but not love.
If you are ever bored in a crowd, start looking at the bone structure of the faces around you. Instant fun.
I feel like whatever decision I make about next spring will be the right one.
I don’t think we spend enough time being with each other. Emphasis on the being. We have so much to do. Friends, roommates, aquaintances, lovers. We rarely let ourselves just be with these people.
We always want to have an activity. A plan. At least something that stands as an apparent purpose for the quality time spent together. Sometimes these activities increase our interaction and sometimes they just draw us apart.
And I’m not saying its bad to do that. To have a plan. To have date times. I’m just saying, maybe we need to spend more time, not even needing to talk. Just being around the people in our lives. Just spending normal life together.
Our hearts are in who we are. So maybe we need to appreciate the beauty of getting to know each others hearts. Not feeling like we’re stuck on a time table. Like we have to get this thing worked out fast. Not worrying about “accomplishing”. Just living together. Because that is where the heart is.
I feel like the world paints relationships as busy and active and full of expectation, but thats not what love is at all. Every kind of love. Love is active, but it is active for a purpose. It seeks. Love is never busy for the sake of being busy. It doesnt have an image to uphold. It just is.
So maybe we should just be.
I get blisters on my right thumb when I play guitar because I don’t use a pick. I lost the one I had last semester and haven’t used one since.
One of my campers this summer told me that she didn’t like to close her eyes when she prayed. I’ve found myself doing that more and more as the year goes on.
I have at least 3 journals going and I write in them all fairly frequently.
I think there is a fine line between being bold and being an idiot. I’m never sure which side of the line I’m on. But I prefer to dance than toe a line.
“Tiramisu: The same velvety cocoa used in the Italian dessert tiramisu, adds richness to this choice blend of black teas. ” My favorite new tea. It doesn’t taste as good on the second brewing of the leaves. One and done.
I’m trying to find a college that will let me major in holding orphans and liking music.
Today was a very romantic day in Chinese class. Mrs. Minn taught us words like lover (情人） and romance (爱情）. In keeping with the spirit of the day, or the spirit of the day before the day, Mrs. Minn told us the legend of the Valentine’s Day in China, which is actually celebrated on July 7.
There was a goddess in heaven. She was the youngest daughter of the Supreme God of the heavens and she was a weaver. She wove the beautiful cloth that the gods used to make their garments. One day, the goddess decided to go down to earth. While there, she saw a water buffalo shepherd (yes, a water buffalo shepherd) and fell in love. The goddess decided to stay on earth and she married her water buffalo shepherd. They lived happily in love and, in time, had a son.
Around this time, however, the gods in the heavens were getting tired of their old threads and the goddess’ presence began to be missed. The Supreme God sent out the gods of lighting and thunder to search for the young goddess and return her to her place in the heavens.
The goddess was returned to the heavens, but her heart remained on earth. The loss of her husband and son was too much for her and she spent her days weeping and longing for the ones she loved. Finally, her aunt took pity on her and spoke with her father. The father took pity on his child and granted that one day out of every year, the lovers could reunite on the Milky Way.
So, every July 7, if you notice that all the birds in your area have gone missing, it is because they have flown up to the Milky Way to create a bridge for the lovers’ meeting. Or maybe its just the birds in China. I’m pretty hazy on the details. Fill in your own blanks.
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