Reformation

Today I cried for about two hours.

 

It was either therapeutic or pathetic.

Ace

Today, I feel like Alice in Wonderland.  Not an “I’m tripping out on opium” sort of feeling, but I feel like I relate to her.  I don’t know where I fit in the world.  I don’t want to do my lessons.  I want everything to be more exciting and adventurous.  I give myself very good advice and I very seldom follow it. Cue pencil faced birds and the Cheshire cat.  I am part impulsive, part adventurous, and part frightened.  My imagination often runs away with me. (I even once had a pet named Dinah.)

I want my life to be colourful itself and full of colourful creatures.  I want to play croquet with the Queen of Hearts.  I want to believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

But Alice did get herself into an awful lot of trouble.

Really? Choose Your Own Adventure. Great

This week, I have to rewrite an introduction (with new research), write a midterm paper by Friday, study for a midterm on Friday, study for a Chinese test on Thursday, write an essay for Chinese due on Thursday, study for GREs and keep working on Grad stuff, and prepare for a discussion in Russian history on Friday.  Plus all the work I should be getting going on for my three other term papers.  And day to day errands, which keep not getting done.  I have been out of fresh fruit for two days now.  This never happens.

I am so tired of Iowa State right now.

Strawberry Mint

I am grateful for my friends.

I am surrounded by beautiful people with beautiful souls.

I will not take that for granted.

Today

Its my firm belief that you can never have enough neck scarves.

Let It Be

Individuals.
This is the world.  We are all different members of one body.

We’re united, but importantly we’re individual as well.

You can’t tackle all the problems of the world.
The pain that has existed since creation.

War, hunger, and heartbreak.
There is not an answer.  There is no reason why.

But there is still a solution: Love.

And love is complicated.  And multifaceted.
You can’t put it in a formula or a list of steps.
It might be different for each of us.
And its not about loving a group or a cause.
Its about loving the person in front of you.

 

Maybe the world is light hearted…

I’m going to go brush my teeth.

 

 

And everything is going to be fine.

Sometimes in April

I feel like I’m falling apart.

Like the world just doesn’t make sense to me these days.

I need some solid ground beneath my feet.

I need to understand.

Cigarettes and Champagne

Pictures get me the most.

I see your face.
Your body.
Remember your voice.

5 million things get me through the day.
And one holds me still.

I can’t regret that for once
I have memories.

Perspective.

I could handle the spiders.  Sort of.

I only had a minor meltdown over the ants.

BUT A MILLIPEDE?!  No.  I am putting my foot down.

I had to turn that thing into millipede jelly before it stopped wiggling around.  I am so tired of bugs in my apartment.  I can’t do this.  I am not adventure-y.  I barely survived CCC.  My apartment was allegedly sprayed for bugs on Monday.  That must have been a lie.  Because I still see bugs.  Freaking huge ones.  That could crawl on me in my sleep and like…touch me.  Okay…so it wouldn’t really be a detrimental experience, but it will ook me out.  So…please…I am a well-bred lady.  Or rather, a wimp.  If you have more than two legs, just leave me alone.  Plz.  Kthnxbai.