Helpless

Life is complicated.  Its full of should haves and musts and need tos. Its full of obligations and rules and hoops to jump through.  There are ladders to climb and boxes to fit into and forms to fill out and contracts to sign.  Everything has a price tag.

So what do I do when I just want to love?

When I want to hold the world and say this is all that matters?  How do we love in a world that tries in every way to hold us back?  To keep us apathetic and unaware?  A world that is trying to numb our hearts so that we’ll stay safe and quiet.  Work for a paycheck, punch the clock.  Drop the pretentious idea that love conquers all and beauty is worth more than accomplishments.  How do we keep saying no?

If we didn’t hold such high potential, the world wouldn’t fight so hard to keep us asleep. You know how high we could rise or you wouldn’t bother clipping our wings. I refuse to stop struggling.

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You’re almost off work

Words for my life these days come in a variety of letters but usually only four of them.  And thats not a bad thing, actually.

I’m not in control of my life and I don’t know why that would bother me.  Things always work out better in the free flow and free fall.  Hell, even a parachute can tie you down.  Sometimes I just want to jump and see how I fly or see where I land.

I’m learning that I need people.  And I’m learning how good love can be.

Life happens and no time lines, checklists, or rule books have any sort of effect outside of our delusions.  Life happens. And it happens now.