All kinds of mess. All kinds of good.

Finally finished my Chaucer revisions.  I’m really pleased with the ending state of my paper.  Definitely better than my first draft.  Thanks for pushing me, Dr. Harker.  Sigh.  Haha.  Only finals left.  Two essay tests, two objective tests, one short answer test, one language test, and one dance test.  All looking like they will be fairly difficult.  But I’m not going to worry about that tonight.  Tonight I’m going to clear off my bed, and curl up under the covers with a good book.  Studying can wait.  :)

We had our last official meeting for the Bible study I led this year tonight.  We wrapped up talking about the kingdom (thanks d-team).  Especially focusing on its fulfillment here and in heaven.  It was really good.  Matthew 11:28-30 was a verse I really needed to hear.  And I realized how often I overlook Colossians, but that book really has a lot of good stuff in it.  Congrats Colossians.  One of the girls in my group said maybe I write off Colossians because it sounds like Galoshes.  Could be.

Wrapped up my last week of classes by going to K’vegas La Fuentes with Elisa.  Good way to bookend the year.  Except I tried to practice my Spanish and speak with the waiters and ended up just looking like a huge idiot.  My Spanish is slipping away.  Sigh.

Life is lovely lately.  Light rain is making everything glisten and grow.  I love my life.


Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Again.

Please, before you start tossing around names like slob or words like mess, disgusting, and heath hazard, give me the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe I’m a scientist.  Maybe the reason my room contains 2 coffee cups with mold cultures is that I’m attempting to grow my own penicillin.  Maybe my dishes are always dirty because I’m working on a top secret government project, which is classified at the highest levels.

Maybe clothes and boxes are strewn about my room purposefully.  I may be a Feng Shui master and what appears to be mess to you, may be a pattern of books and shoes and pens, crafted to perfectly allow the unimpeded flow of energy and peace in my place of repose.

Perhaps I’m an artist, working in a breakthrough medium, creating art out of the every day, the ordinary, and the normal.  I could have a multi-million dollar contract to create a typical college room work of art for a wealthy patron.  I could be a modern day Brancacci or a Brunelleschi, working for a modern day Medici.

Or maybe this mess is just getting out of control.  Good thing I’ll be packing up and deep cleaning soon.

Home stretch

It has come down to the last two weeks of school.  My last two weeks at the Harvard of the Midwest.  I’ll miss certain things, certain people and certain aspects of life down here, but on the whole, I’m excited to start my ISU adventure.

My life is flying too fast to take more than a day at a time.  But one day at a time is beautiful lately.

“So there is hope for your future,”
declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 31:17a)

Wall Paintings

Two years ago, summer.  D-team planned a day of solitude for the staff.  One of the aspects of this day was paper covering the walls in the staff shack and paint for anyone who desired to use it.  What was painted by the end was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.  I need more art in my life.

The lights in my house just flickered.  Its been storming on and off for the past 24 hours.  I’ve really liked it.  Maybe the flickering electricity means I shouldn’t be using electronic devices, like this computer.  But hey, I’m not an electrical engineer, I can’t be expected to know these things or make rational electronic decisions.

Awaken was really good this weekend.  Really.

I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I desire strength.  In so many different areas of my life.

It’s foreign on this side.

Penny for my thoughts?

I have a dangerous obsession with lip rings.  I really want one.  And I know, Mom, you’ll read this and wonder how I could do that to my beautiful face I know.  I know Grandpa would probably ask if he could pull that thing off my face and Jordan will tell me I look ridiculous.  But I can’t help it, I just like lip rings.  Sigh.  And dreadlocks.  We’ll see if either or both of those will happen this summer.  Think I could still rush Tri-Delta with dreads and a lip ring?  Bahaha.

Jacy once told me I’m not trying to be out of the box, I’m just still looking for the box that I fit in.  I’d say that is true.  But I don’t know how I feel about it.

I’m off to the TrueMen concert, “The True-sual Suspects”.

Tomorrow is our last Awaken.  We now have a rainsite so, no matter the weather, this thing is happening.  I’m really really glad.  I wasn’t ready for last week’s performance to be the last.  One more time to be blasphemous with Tanner and our son, Jesus Christ.  One more Jesus dance party.  One more experience of John 8.  One more night of acting out the things that are more real than my day to day.  The chance to physically touch Jesus shoulder and ask him about love, about creation, about faith.  One more chance to put on face paint and show the truth we’re invited to live in daily.

“So sit back, don’t get too relaxed, and watch as the curtain is pulled back on the stage of eternity.”

Pogo Stick

Up and down.

Just got back to my email.  Finally got my draft back from my Chaucer professor.  These words: “A fine start–but still rather a lot of work ahead.”


Dear Truman,

Can’t we just be done with each other?  I think we’ve played this game long enough.  You’re done with me.  I’m done with you.  Is it really worth dragging this out just for appearances?  We both know this relationship is ending.  Lets stop pretending and end this with dignity.

Cordially yours,

Run down

Its gorgeous out here.  Trees are in bloom.  Grass is green.  Birds are singing.

I would like to play sand volleyball.  Or Nuke ‘Em.  Or go play in a lake.  Any of those options would be fan-tastic.

If anyone else is interested, I impulsively desire to hop in a car, drive out to Cali, and jump in the ocean.

“You are beautiful in every single way”

Beauty comes from everywhere.  It has so many different faces.  Beauty transcends class, race, and culture, gender and lifestyle.  Beauty is found in all shapes and sizes.  In every color.  In every place.  In every life.  Beauty comes out of every type of background.  Every past, every present, and every future.  Beauty is suprising.  Often quiet, unassuming.  Beauty has no expectations.  It just is.  Beauty cannot be predicted.  Beauty is found in the summer.  In the days of warm weather and cool breezes.  And it is in the fall.  In the first frost that kills the last of the autumn flowers.  Sometimes beauty is harder to see, sometimes beauty is covered in pain, but if there is a heart, there is beauty.  Beauty is unusual.  But beauty is also natural.  Normal.  Gentle.  Beauty takes away your breath, and beauty gives it back again.

Life is beautiful.

New Low…or High.

I’m eating peanut butter for lunch in the 8 minutes I have before my next class.  I’m eating it straight out of the jar with my finger.  I am the definition of a class lady.

There is a dark red mark on my cheek from falling asleep on my arm during my previous class.  It looks like a bruise.  I’m hoping it fades soon before people think I’m being abused.  Guess thats what I get for napping in class.

I keep thinking I’m going to start packing up my room and start prepping for the semester’s end, but so far, no dice.  Cleaning up and rearranging this thing is going to be a chore.  Just whistle while you work?


It will be 3x as expensive for me to go to ISU versus TSU.  But I’m pretty sure it will be worth it.

I couldn’t believe how many people I saw last night.  I didn’t know any of them.  I was just overwhelmed by the amount of people.  Woah buddy.

I need to be two people.  Thats all.

Second to last Awaken performance tomorrow night.  The penultimate performance.  Like the Penultimate Supper.  Last host home experience.  I’ll miss that.

Messy Grace.