Microzoospores

I don’t think this is something I need to know for my lab practical tomorrow.  But I’m really not sure.  Clade Euglenophyta, Phylum Euglena?  Maybe?  I have no idea what to know or what to study.  Dear lab,  I’m at a loss for this.  How much will it hurt my grade if this doesnt go well?  I have no idea how to prepare or if I am prepared.  Love, Lynnea

But as a bonus, I’m using my desk for the first real time this year.  The next few days will see me at this desk well into the morning hours.

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when heaven meets the earth
we will have no need for
numbers

to tell us who we are
or what we’re worth

I’m going to Sierra Leone over winter break this year.  I’m going with Elle to spend a couple of weeks in the orphanage she visited over the summer.  We’re buying plane tickets at the end of the month.  Which means I need about eighteen hundred dollars…right now.  Do I have eighteen hundred dollars (plus another 1200 or so for ministry expenses)?  No.  Is God going to provide?  In His way, always.  Trust Trust Trust.

Life is beautiful.  Really.  Its painful and broken and confusing and war torn in every way.  But beauty persists.  Today, I’ve been noticing: Unashamed joy, tacit need, breaking down of generational barriers, helplessness, strength, and peace.  Love exists.  Beauty exists.  Wherever we choose to see it.  Because the moment we choose to see it, we create it.  Or maybe release it. Can love ever not be?  Even above faith and hope, the greatest of these is love.  Love yourself, love each other. Love your neighbour. Love actually is all around.

Some of us are leaders and some of us are followers.  Some of us haven’t learned to trust deeply enough to walk on our blind side.  Maybe we’re head shy.  And someone caring for and leading our bodies hasn’t healed our hearts.  Maybe our  hurt and our need runs to deep to be expressed. Maybe it pours out of our very pores, but hasn’t yet and maybe never will reach our larynx.  Maybe we’re out of options. But maybe we don’t need any options.

At last, my love has come along.  So has yours.  We’re in the same love.

We’re destitute and broken, scorned, and powerless.  But we are beautiful, whole, glorified, and mighty.  We, the weary, are given rest.  And are taken back into Eden.  Daily.

Hellogoodbye

Dinah and Ingrid are currently on their way to a better place.  Sigh.  I took them to get checked up for their sneezes and was told I could try, but basically they weren’t going to get any better.  I know they are just rats, but I get overly emotionally involved in the worst things and I felt like I hadn’t protected them well and was abandoning them for the convenience of the healthy replacement rats I was offered.  I cried on my way home from the Ark.

I hate pain.  Even rat pain.  And I hate not being able to fix it.

Decisions, to Do

Dinah is sneezing.  A lot.  I wonder if she has allergies or is sick.  I need to call a vet tomorrow and ask what I can do.  She and Ingrid are still adorable, even with the sneezing.

I have the opportunity to go to Sierra Leone over winter break.  I’m trying to decide what to do.  And I need to decide quickly, because if I plan to go, visas need to be obtained, shots/medicine taken care of, and money raised.  All (especially the last) as soon as possible.

I want to do this.

But I’m scared.  Scared of being overwhelmed.  Overwhlemed  by raising the money, overwhelmed by the planning, and overwhelmed by need, poverty, and pain when I arrive.

But I need to decide so I can do something.