Times Three

Three posts in a day must mean I have some homework assignment I don’t want to do.

Successes for my day: I lined up three professors who would be willing to send letters of recommendation for me.  Ever since a friend of mine they looked at their letters of recommendation, I’ve been nervous about what mine must say.  I never read them in the past.  WERE THEY BAD?! Stressssssss.

This stressing must be part of what gives me headaches.

Stress from thinking: What the hell am I going to do with the rest of my life?  Stress from having a real long-term plan one minute and the next, wanting to throw all long-term plans out the window.  Some days, I want to get my phD, I want to work in a college, I want to do big things, take important research trips, grade papers.  The next minute, I don’t want to pick something.  I just want to follow life wherever it takes me.  Really live in the moment.

It would help if I could make up my mind.

All I know is that I want to love.  The how, where, and whys stay unanswered.


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