I have so much to do. Three large research papers plus two shorter papers, two presentations, and two finals. I also need to clean and pack up my room and prepare to move back to Iowa for the summer (which is exciting). But there is so much to do. And I have bedbugs again. So I am covered in large, red welts. I am having a hard time focusing and its getting stressful.
Right now, I’m most frustrated that I don’t have a place to live for next fall. I had a place lined up but it fell through. I just feel like I keep hitting brick walls out here. None of my decisions seem to work out. The program isn’t great, I’m not thrilled with Public Administration. Whatever…I can finish it and have a degree. But that would be so much easier to do if everything else out here didn’t keep falling apart as well. If some of the other details would just fall into place, the next year would seem a lot less daunting. I’d love to catch a break.
I haven’t even blogged about Easter yet. I feel just a little too busy to marvel at the resurrection. Like most of the church throughout its history. Its easier to leave Jesus in the tomb and make up our own rules as we go.
I hate not knowing. I like to have at least an idea of a plan. Maybe the cosmos is forcing me to live in the moment. But doesn’t she know I already had a plan to do that next year after graduation? Irony. I’ve got to focus on now, I guess. I can’t do anything else right now.