back

well…i am back.

i am back in illinois.  back in my little bed in my little room.  back to public administration and public administrators.  back to the struggle to be where i am.  back to a beautiful city that i do in fact love.  back to a job i don’t enjoy but can appreciate.  back to a shower that never runs out of hot water.  back to four months.  back to a vegan diet (punctuated by icecream with my boyfriend).   back to forgetting.  back to remembering.  back to triggers.  back to constantly missing people.  back to dreaming.  back to relying on myself.  back to bluegrass. back to asking my shoulders to carry and to hopeful tomorrows.  back to books and music.  back to a time where it is my choice. my life.  my responsibility.  back yo a place where it is so hard to be now but now is what we are.

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