I am just having a thought. And I am writing it down so it doesn’t just rattle in my head all day.
I think if I don’t get into the U of M, I am going to still leave NIU in May. Maybe I could work at the Berry Patch again for the summer. I will travel to Sierra Leone. I will spend the summer doing what summers are for.
And in the fall, maybe I will not go back to school. Maybe I will just find a job and try to work for a year or so and figure out what I really want to do with my life. I could use the time to study for LSATS and apply to Drake Law the next fall. I could think more about if international travel or if staying close to my roots is the better option. I could take some time just to be and figure out what I really want to do without the stress of feeling disconnected or the pressures of deadlines. I could at least take a year to feel the pressures of a working life outside of academia and really learn to feel that that life isn’t for me.
Its not the most practical choice. It wouldn’t do much for my resume. I’d be incredibly poor. But I’d be taking time for myself. To explore my options. To feel like I have possibilities and I am not walled in and resigned. And that might be worth it. I could use a little adventure and exploration.
“We could get in trouble!” “That’s how you know it’s an adventure!”