these days mercy cuts so deep

…if the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep.

I can hear people screaming in the distance.  It feels like deep fall.  Maybe these cries are coming from a Halloween haunted house.  Maybe today really is 31 October and I missed the last month and a half.  It really feels like it today.  The air is crisp and cold.  But I suppose the leaves are too green.  And I have not eaten enough apples.

Two of my good friends got married today.  To each other.  And it was beautiful.  It just felt right.  Or maybe it felt Irish.  But I count that as right.  When I was younger, I took it for granted that people got married.  Now at weddings, I find myself asking why.   I see pictures on Facebook of giddy people holding up bejeweled left hands and it makes less sense.  The necessity of the institution is less of a given for me.  I don’t always have a good answer for my question “why”.  But then again, I don’t always have a good answer for my question “why not”.

I think 99% of my poor decisions in life relate to my desire to have a vice.  Its so glamorous.

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