I always used to want a label maker. My best friend, Abbie, and I used to make our incredibly witty sayings into labels and put them everywhere. There was in particular a certain purple trapper keeper that had the best witticisms. I wish I knew what happened to that trapper keeper.
I always had an obsession with labels. I wanted one for myself desperately.
Now I want anything but a label. I am in love with ambiguity and ambivalence. I want the edges of everything to be blurry because it feels more free. Labels, boxes, lists: they all feel too restricting. I want the freedom to change my mind tomorrow. Sometimes I long for the ease and security of a set of lines which I know I shouldn’t cross. A description I know I should try to fit. A list I can measure myself against. But now I know the freedom of accepting everything as it is. Of not needing to know.
I’m not a feminist. I’m not a liberal. I’m not a student. I’m not an artist. I’m not a screw-up. I’m not a perfectionist. I’m not an American. I’m not a label. I just am. If you can put one word on something, you’ve oversimplified it. Life, love, the world, everything is beautifully complex. It changes with every moment.
Its like being a tourist. I sometimes spend so much time behind the camera trying to capture memories that I forget to make them. Sometimes I spend so much time trying to label things that I forget to look at them, touch them, feel them, love them.