Basis of my faith

Most of the time the world feels fine and I feel fine.  There are moments of joy, love, friendship, and beauty .  This feels true to me.  But there is also war, disease, and despair which all feel wrong (of course) but wrong in a way that you know they weren’t supposed to be there.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the feeling that I have to prove myself.  That I have to be good enough.  That I have to work to ensure that I am on top.  Because then I’m safe, then I’m loved.  I feel like life is a competition and sometimes I feel like I’m winning and other times, not.  And I let this idea run so deep, that most of the time it doesn’t even cross my mind to question it.  To ask why I think that girl walking across campus is better than me or why I assume that boy in my class is judging me as flawed.  When face to face with a hungry child, no one accepts poverty.  War may be seen by some as necessary but can never be labeled good.  And yet, we accept this, we accept loneliness, anger, and fear, as parts of every day.  Pain runs deep in the very veins of our existence.  And yet, deep down, some part of me is screaming that this is not right.  This is not how it is supposed to be.  And that is exactly what I see in the Bible.  A message that, You’re right.  You were made for something else.  This world doesn’t work and its killing you.  But hold on.  Hope.  You can catch glimpses of the way it was meant to be.  Eden lingers.  And will someday be restored.  Hold on.  Hope.

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