I want to believe in a faith that is passionate. I do not want to be passionate about my faith. That gives me images of people handing out tracts and going around in malls to ask shoppers if they know Jesus. No, honestly. Probably not. If we knew Jesus we wouldn’t be caught up in the Western consumerism exemplified in the shopping mall. And yes, I’m guilty of that. I’ll admit it freely. I don’t know Jesus. I’m heading to be a counselor at bible camp in a month and yes, I don’t know Jesus. I mean, I know him. I read the Bible. I go to church. I believe all the right things. but I don’t know him. I wouldn’t sit down with him over coffee and tell him my favourite flower or what I’m afraid of. I wouldn’t let myself be open with him. I wouldn’t trust him. Because the smooth talker in the business suit scares me. The guy who’s trying to rope me in and keep me as his “beloved”. I’ve heard that line before and it never ends well. Sorry, I don’t intend to be the bride of Christ if that means I’ve got to be barefoot in the kitchen. If you know me, God, you know this.
Why is this who the church tries to tell me you are? Now I love a good Mass or traditional Lutheran service. I can feel your grandeur and your intimacy. But I feel like the modern church has given me this image of you that is something I want nothing to do with. Its like the rugged loner cowboy mixed with the serious wall street business man. You’ve got rules and you’ve got a company and by god, this body of christ had better be damn efficient or you’ll outsource. Its a gentleman’s club and if you’re not in, tough luck.
But is that really Christ? Is Jesus holding a briefcase or is he holding a loaf of bread? Signing a contract or touching a leper? Is he sitting in front of me with a checklist, and a series of graphs and charts to see if I match his criteria or is he holding a guitar, wearing ripped jeans and thick brown beard saying every day is saturday with you. forget about the world, forget about everything and just be with me? my yoke is gentle and my burden is light.
I could know him.