the lou

i visited st. louis this week.  MJ is getting so big.  After seeing Nathan’s nephew, i remembered that she wasn’t always this size (lucky for kelsey) and realized how much she’s grown.  she’ll be a year old on Friday.  i can’t believe it.  she’s walking now (though she still prefers all four limbs touching something.  arms free is pretty scary).  she’s talking (whats that?  who’s that?  da da da da da da da da. and ooh ooh ooh make up her vocabulary). and she’s well aware that everyone thinks she’s adorable and probably the greatest thing ever.  and she is.

i realized as i was driving home yesterday how much i hate not being able to see what way the road is going.  in the dark when i could only see as far as my headlights illuminated, i was always worried the road was going to turn  and i wouldn’t be ready for it.  even though i knew my headlights would show the course of the road in plenty of time for me to safely drive it.  bends in the road, exits to new roads, and stops along the way would show up in  plenty of time for me to turn, adjust, speed up, slow down, or stop altogether.  but i still always worried.  especially when in the midst of the curves in the road.  my impulse is always to hit my brakes.  life lesson as i’m looking at a pretty open future.  i still don’t know what i’ll do after graduation, where i’ll go, who’ll be there.  i can see where i am right now, maybe a few feet down the road, but thats about it.  but from where i am, its still lookin pretty good. no need to brake.


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