I’m wearing my favorite pair of jeans. The ones that are almost worn out and are getting to the ‘too worn to be good looking’ stage, but they are still so comfortable. My (now) dark brown hair is pulled back in a loose braid and my bangs are constantly falling in my eyes. I’m bundled up against the 24 degree day in a red sweatshirt with two fuzzy white scotty dogs on the front. With rhinestone collars and hearts in between. It looks like something a fourth grader would have worn in ’86. The only reason I’ve showered this week is because I bathed a flea infested dog yesterday. Its the kind of dog that Jesus would have adopted. But my legs are reasonably clean shaven. It’s a good feeling.
I’m last minute considering studying abroad for a month in China this summer. Late May through late June. Take some of my language credits. Maybe an Asian history course or Asian art. Then spend the rest of the summer working, probably in Ames. Save up some money for my semester in Scotland that next fall. It would mean two international experiences pretty close together, a shorter summer near the places I love being when not in K’ville and my first summer away from RLBC since I was in third grade. But also an amazing opportunity to be immersed in my language and in a culture for which I’ve long had a passion. I’m not sure what I’ll do.
I’m realizing how busy my next month or so is going to be. And how I’ll actually have to practice time management. It feels good to be accomplishing things, however, so I feel like I’m ready for it.
I’m feeling like a very mixed bag of opinions, emotions, and passions right now. I’m really frustrated with my situation here at the HotMW sometimes and sometimes I feel like I can take one day at a time, find the right attitude, and totally handle this season of my life. I’m realizing how I have no idea where my life is going. I might be in another country in a few months. I might study abroad and not come back to Truman. I’m in a major with no idea what I’ll do post graduation.
I’m completely unable to see my path ahead of me. And that seems to be a theme. And God seems to do that on purpose. And I’m doing well. Life is good.
Whatever. In the best sense.